What Love is.

So my last post talked about "falling in Love" and how I don't believe in it...so let me talk about what I do believe in. I believe that humans have the capacity to love all our fellow humans, open hearted and at peace. I think this state is called enlightenment by some, Christ consciousness by others, and to me I think its just plain who we are once we release the traumas that Western Civilization has heaped on us. My goal isn't to be in Love with one or two or a handful of people, but to live in a Space of Love all of the time with everyone in my life. Important parts of living in this space is authenticity, setting clear boundaries, knowing myself, needs and desires.

My ideal about relationships is that we all live in this space together, having healed past traumas, we interact with the intimacy that feels pleasurable in the moment with the people we are with. Years ago when I was living at Sunrise Ranch, a spiritual community in Colorado, I gave a service about how "we are all lovers in the heaven." I spoke about how we, in that space of Love, the "heaven", that spiritual dimension beyond the body, are all madly in love with one another, fully in unity and deeply intimate. I remember feeling as if my service was resonating with folks, sinking in to people's consciousness...I like to think it worked to heal a bit of the gaping wound that earlier sex scandals had wrought on these people who were so committed to love, yet seemed so afraid of true intimacy and transparency.

Whether my talk was a balm as I imagined has yet to be revealed, but what I do know is that my ideal form of relationship has yet to give me the results I've wanted. I have tried polyamory for the past twelve years, dating various people who are dating various people. Everyone knows what is going on, there are no secrets. And my relationship life has been dramatic. Up and down, back and forth, wearing each other to the bone at times, crazy making to an extreme. Does this mean I think doing Polyamory isn't for me? No, but it does mean it may be more of a goal than the current path.

I think my vision for creating Tribe or a Network of Lovers is still the same, my path to getting there seems to be changing. I am of two minds on this though. One is that everything is perfect as it is, the lessons learned from trying to live my ideal is the path to the ideal. The triggers are the sign posts in my consciousness of limiting beliefs that keep me from my goal, and so are an opportunity to heal the very things that I need to heal to get to where I want to be. The other mind is taking all I've learned from key influencial communties, like Morehouse, ZEGG and Sunrise Ranch, and build a foundation from one deep and commited relationship. One man who is committed to me and my goals, one partnership. Let that build, and add on once there is a secure trusting field of love between us.

I think Polyamory is an important part of my spiritual path, dating multiple people and living in community has given many, many more opportunities for facing my limiting beliefs and triggers than if I had done the two in a box path that most people in our culture live out. ZEGG community has a similar ideal as I do, they call it Free Love...and they say that they aren't living out Free Love, that what you see is the path to Free Love...and there are a lot of bumps along the way. They are doing the work together to clear the field in consciousness to get to the place of Free Love. This addresses most people's reactions to ideas like Polyamory and community, there is a lot of work in human consciousness to get to that space of Love, and its painful. To my mind its some of the most important work on the planet right now. I guess saying that brings me back to my place of having two minds about how to get to living in the Space of Love, continue to open to what is in front of me. Right now multiple intimate friends and lovers are in front of me, and my work is to love myself and them, find my limiting beliefs and set clear sane boundaries in the face of it all.